January 11th, 2004 | No Comments

Crap TV Rant

Flicking through the TV guide this weekend prompted me to have a rant about the state of the current television schedules - if it’s not repeats of 20 year old comedies then it’s putting C-list celebrities into proposterous situations.

Here’s a review of the type of programs which are currently filling our screens:

Monk - Sat 10th January 2004 - BBC2

From tvtome.com:

“Former police detective Adrian Monk has suffered from intensified obsessive-compulsive disorder and a variety of phobias since the murder of his wife… Despite his photographic memory and his amazing ability to piece tiny clues together, he is now on psychiatric leave from the San Francisco Police Department. Aided by his friend and practical nurse, Sharona Fleming, Monk works as a freelance detective/consultant, hoping to convince his former boss, Captain Leland Stottlemeyer, to allow him to return to the force. Stottlemeyer wavers between admiration for Monk and annoyance at his eccentricities. Moreover, he harbors serious doubts about the wisdom of allowing Monk to carry a gun. Stottlemeyer’s second-in-command, Lieutenant Randall Disher also has his doubts about Monk but seems to be developing a reluctant admiration for the ‘defective detective.’”

How do they think this stuff up?

Celebrities Under Pressure - Sat 10th January 2004 - ITV

Former Boddingtons saleswoman Melanie Sykes challenges forgotten ex-soap stars and hard-up footballers to win prizes for families.

Pap.

International Stars and Their Doubles - Sat 10th January 2004 - ITV

Any program write-up which starts with the words “Dale Winton” is automatically going to get the alarm bells ringing - coupled with the fact that it’s a competition to find the UK’s ‘most convincing lookalikes’ and you’re onto a real belter.

Your video recorder will be quiet tonight.

Star Portraits with Rolf Harris - Sun 11th January 2004 - BBC1

Nothing wrong with Rolf per se, but unfotunately he’s managed to find himself hosting an ill conceived Watercolour Challenge variant, in which a “celebrity” has their portrait painted by several different artists, and gets to take home the one they like the most. This week, 1-dimensional bra-dodging green-fingered ginger Charlie Dimmock was the celebrity.

Why oh why oh why…

Father Dowling Mysteries - Fri 16th January 2004 - BBC1

According to the TV Guide, “the crime-solving clergyman’s evil half-brother appears on the scene - and unfortunately, the police can not tell them apart.”

So, basically Tom “Happy Days” Bosley plays both parts, but with a moustache on for the brother, like in Knightrider when Michael Knight’s “evil twin” used to appear, and Hasselhoff had to don a stick on ‘tache.

Don’t bother.

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